Sometimes you have to lose yourself in order to find yourself.
I was asked to come to the rescue of my oldest niece on Friday when she was involved in a single-car wreck on her way home from college for the weekend. On our way to meet her mother, we started talking about how she’s doing in college and what’s been going on in her life lately.
She said that she changed her major (Forensic Anthropology to English, like me), pulled a muscle in her abdomen, and now, wrecked her car (her only mode of transportation to and from college). She said that she is “a broken girl.”
My heart just broke for her. She is struggling to find her niche, to find her calling, to find herself. At just 18, she has had hardships and heartbreak. She is so concerned about us, her family, not worrying about her while she’s in college that she has at times pushed us away or shut us out completely. On one hand, she wants to be so independent, to be an adult, but on the other hand, she is still a teenager struggling to find herself.
When I look at her, I think back to my college years. I started out as a Business major, but then changed my major to English within the first month of my first semester of my Junior year. I wanted to write, and I was enjoying my Creative Writing class while hating my Statistics class. I talked with my CW professor and she encouraged my writing, saying that there are a lot of career options for English majors. The next day, I changed my major. I struggled to find myself, lost myself in a guy, then found myself after I changed my major. I joined the campus newspaper, and later interned at a TV station.
She confided in me that she feels lost, that she doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up. I told her that sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself. I told her that there are options out there for her to try to figure out what interests her. I told her about internships, Peace Corps, and jobs that she could look into. She wants to get out of Tennessee; she wants to lose herself; she doesn’t want to feel stuck in a job that sucks the life out of her.
I completely understand where she’s coming from. I told her not to live her life with regrets. I told her to follow her heart, to follow her dreams. I told her to travel, to live life to the fullest, and to experience everything and anything this world has to offer.
Whether my niece pulls out of college for awhile or decides to continue on as an English major, I will support her. I love her… she’s my girl. She stole my heart the moment she was kicked my hand (while in the womb) while me and her mom, who was pregnant with my niece at the time, were in the movie theater watching Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire.
Have you lost your way, and then found yourself along the way? What advise would you give a young person, like my niece, who feels broken down or lost? I’d love to hear from you, so please leave your comments below.
Yours Truly,
Vanessa
